Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Question for parents of teenagers or teenagers?

My curfew is 9:00 and i am a 16yr old junior. What time is your childs curfew? What time do you think is a reasonable curfew? And for the teenagers what time is your curfew? And if you could pick your curfew what time would it be?Question for parents of teenagers or teenagers?
My daughter's curfew depends on what she is doing. If she is going to a dance and it is over at 10, I tell her that she can be home by 11. If she and her friends have plans to go to Denny's after for something to eat, I ask her to be home by 12 midnight. If she is going to a movie that is over by 11pm, I expect her by 12:00 midnight unless they have plans to do something after. She had a 9 curfew on weekdays during the school year becuase she just needed to be in bed, as she had a heavy class load and is in several activities so she needed her rest. But, in our house, to set a rigid time was unrealistic because some of her school and work and church activities would have been cut out if I made her stick to such a rigid time. So, we have gone on an understanding that I will be flexible and she needs to respect my decision for the given situation. She is 19 now and still at home. She still has those rules and it works very well. She works part time, goes to school full time and is an honor student. She does volunteer work at a local art gallery and teaches youth group and sunday school and is in two musical groups at church. YES she is over 18, but still in MY house without paying rent. She does tell me where she is and who she is with. She tells me the truth, is not in to drugs or booze and calls me if the plans change. I follow the same rules for myself. My husband I an give her reasonable estimates of when we will be home and let her know who we are with. The rules apply to all of us and we communicate and we are all happy. So, technically, none of us have a curfew, but we do decide from day to day what is a reasonable time to be at home after all activities are taken in to account. My parents gave me a rigid time when I was growing up and it just really kept me from doing a lot of things I should have been able to do, like go to the movies with my friends or to dances or football games and stuff like that. Butn then again, I did not get up well in the morings, nor did I do my chores and I had bad grades. So, maybe if I had shown myself to be a more grown up person, I might have been treated like a more grown up person. Who knows. My daughter is amazing and extremely responsible. She has gotten herself up in the mornings since Jr. High. She even makes it to church Sundays even if she works late or goes out on Saturday night. So, it all depends on the person and the family. Your family might just be really strict and that may or may not work well, but the thing is that you live under their roof and you need to do what you are told to do. Try to talk to your folks and ask them if you can try to do curfew on a case by case basis and see if negotiation will work.But, just don't pout and complain that you have a stupid curfew and think you are old enough to do anything you want. That will shut down even the most receptive parent. If they flat out say NO then you really can not do much except to save your money to move out if it is worth moving out for once you are 18. Just know that your parents love you with all their heart and only want what is best for you, and at 16 you are still a very young person and need their guidence.Question for parents of teenagers or teenagers?
You can email me at optisaurus@sbcglobal.net and I wil answer you when I can! O^O

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Well Im 15 and dont have a curfew, like if im out mum will just tell me to get a lift home, not to walk around at night and be good (whatever that means). But If i didn't get home before 10 she'd probably worry unless i slept at a mates house that night. So basically i just have to organise with her but i think for a 16year old about 12 is good not on school/early work nights, and when you have to get up for school or work 10 is fine.
I'm 28 yrs of age and I can remember arguing with my parents to let me stay out longer and stuff, I always thought they were nuts! My cerfew was 9:30/10pm.Then again I didn't live in the best neighborhood, But with the way the world is now I just can't imagine letting a kid be out past 9 or 10 pm. I use to joke around and say I am one of the wierd ones, but the world has definetly changed since I was a kid.
`honestly, ive probbly partied everyweekend, till my senior year of high school, which will start this year, and usually a lot of ';stuff'; happens past 12, where everyones drunk or high hookin up with each other, if i was a parents id say around 12 is good. anything past that a kid will start having problems/.
I don't have a curfew. I've never really had one. I usually go to bed around 11:30-12:00.





Is 9:00 when you have to be home or when you have to go to bed? If it;s the second one, thats insane!





EDIT: I'm 16. I don't think it's to unreasonable to be in at 9:00. It is a little early, but it's not bad.
when i was 16 i had to be home at 10:30 on a school night and 11 on weekends or during summer, if it was something preplanned and discussed with my parents,and i had a responsible ride home i could stay out later, how much later depended on where i would be
My curfew is whenever as long as i call my mom and tell her who i am with, when i will be home stuff like that





I usually come home around 12 or 1.





I do not drink, or take drugs, I am extremely responsible, my mom trusts me.
Whenever I want because my parents trust me. They know I am not with some guy or am drinking or doing drugs. I am a junior also. If I could pick one it would be 12:00 because that is enough. As long as I don't wake my parents up everything is okay.
I'm 16 and a rising senior and I don't have a curfew. I can pretty much be out as late as I want, but I have to tell my mom where I am all the time, obviously.





She trusts my judgment (with good reason :]) so as long as she knows what I'm up to she's cool.
okay. i have to be in at 12:00 because my parents started to trust me again. i am 14, when i lost my parents trust, i couldnt even go out past 6:30!!!! it was stupid, because i lost their trust by doing something i wouldnt do for awhile.


i can do whatever if my mom or dad knows what i am doing.








feel free to contact me-- lnhamilton1224@yahoo.com
sorry for you but i dont realy have a curfue my dad works 3rd so hes gone at night i just have to be home but the city curfue it like 11:30 weekdays and 1 on weekends








but i check in i dont constantly run or be places i shouldnt
Well I am very responsible etc. My mother knows I'm not out g getting into trouble. All I do is hang out with friends. Anyways, I do not have a curfew. I am 15 and going to be a freshy this year. I think your curfew should be 11 pm
Well I'm 14 and my curfew is 10pm weekdays whenever on weekends if i am out w some people. My mom said a reasonable time would be like 12-1 am
well i am 17 and aa senior in hs and i dont really have a curfew but thats call i usually come home by like 11 anyway...
midnight during school, 11 on weekends during the school year.
Well I'm 13 and can't necessarily go anywhere... but for 16 years old I would say 11pm is a good curfew on weekends and 10pm on weekdays.
Im 16 and don't have a curfew but thanks to my local law makers I must be home by 9
im 14 %26amp;%26amp; i dont have a curfew...im pretty much free


i think yours should be 11:00 fi you need ot have one


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just let your parents know ehere you are
even on weekends?? Really , what do you need to be doing out past 9 anyway? theres nothing but trouble out there after that :)
at least 10..but I don't go out so I don't go out that often
I'm about to turn 15 and my curfew is 9pm. I have a bedtime too. It's 10pm. Doesn't that suck?
i'M 17 AND I'M A JUNIOR 2 AND MY CURFEW iS 12:OO AM TLK TO UR FOLKS MAKE THE TRUST U MORE! MAKE SURE THET TRUST U
I didn't have a curfew, really - just call if I made plans, and call if those plans changed. Don't call after 9pm (my mom worked very early), be quiet coming in at night, and keep it reasonable. Weekends didn't matter, as long as they had an idea of where I was, and weeknights they left to my judgement (if I even bothered to go out, I'd usually be home by 10ish unless we were at a later flick or something).





How are your grades? Do you keep up on chores without having to be asked?





If your grades are consistently good and you keep up on your chores, I'd think that 11pm-midnight would be fine for weekends, with the occasional 0100 extension (plus, if you make it to a friend's house for the night who has a more liberal curfew...that can work to your advantage). A general curfew of 10pm for weeknights (with exceptions for later movies on occasion, but don't abuse the priviledge!) would be fine.





Sound unfair? You need to consider that if you're looking to get your curfew extended, you're going to be in a bargaining position. It's not just going to magically dissolve...and even if it's annoying, you'll be glad of it later.





Don't be in too much of a hurry. Sure, at 16 we all wanted to do what everyone at 21 was doing, but it's not always the best thing. Junior high wants to be high school, high school wants to be college, college wants to be ';respected adult';, and most adults try to find the time to be kids again!





It's really disenchanting to not have new things. Staying out as late as you want is a cool element of not living at home, sure, but I'd been doing it for so long that there was no thrill to it.





Anyway, be responsible in your daily life and be mature with your parents, even if they turn you down. If you throw a tantrum or pout at all, you won't gain any points and it will only enforce that ';our little girl isn't old enough'; thought.





Good luck!

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